It is often stated that we teach how we learned meaning that teachers take pieces from their positive learning experiences and use them to meld into their teaching style. What about the negative experiences? In light of the season of Thanksgiving, I am sharing how a negative learning experience was "flipped" into an attitude of gratitude.
I remember clearly one negative learning experience, so clearly that it probably is the most negative experience I had as a student. It was in the fifth grade with Mr. B. Mr. B has the distinction of not only being my fifth grade teacher but also being my first male teacher. He had a very firm hand and his management style was reactive, often in a very condescending negative way. For example, he often assigned lines as punishment such as "I will not forget my library book at home" for 100 or 200 repetitions. Now I was and still am an a reader. The day I forgot my library book was a huge disappointment because that meant I couldn't check out a new book. For an avid reader such as myself that was worse than the lines assigned to me by Mr. B.
The lines were a humiliation and total waste of my time. So, I didn't do them in my free time at school, instead I enjoyed my recess and lunch periods. At home after my homework was finished I guilted myself into starting my lines, it was, after all, an expected assignment not matter how I felt. I don't recall how far into the work I was when my mom poked her head into my room. Far enough for the paper to show that something repetitious was upon it. She asked, "What are you doing?" I quckly covered my paper, ashamed, and said quickly, "Homework! I'm doing homework!" Of course my suspicious mannerism got her attention. "Really?" she said, "Let me see." "I don't want to show you." I mumbled ashamed. She replied, "Michelle, show me your work." I was stuck, I had to show her, there was no way I was going to disobey and get into more trouble than I already was.
Now my mother, also an avid reader, was shocked that A) I was writing lines and B) that they were for a forgotten library book. She frowned, took my paper, and forbid me to finish the punishment. She told me she would be calling my teacher and that he was not to assign me lines as punishment.
Now I don't recall if it was the next day, week, or month; but I do recall Mr. B being quite angry with me. He never asked for the lines but he did ask me a question during science that I couldn't answer. I told him I didn't know the answer. He proceeded to have me stand up in front of my desk to answer the question, I still didn't know. The class was silent, I was silent. I wanted to become a statue because I was mortified. I stood at my desk looking down pondering how I could possible crawl underneath and hide. He demanded that I pick up the text book as if by merely holding the book the answer would jump out at this newly created statue that I had become. I slowly picked up my textbook and with everlasting horror found myself slamming the book onto the desk and yelling "I DON'T KNOW!!" And that is how I got suspended...for the first...and the last time.
For those of you who read my memory and sympathize, thank you. For others who support Mr. B, thank you. I recanted this experience not for empathy nor even to start a movement of followers who are pro or con Mr. B. It was, after all, the 1970's and Mr. B was an older, experienced teacher who was probably using what he felt were best practices at the time. Also, rest assured that I went on to have many male teachers and had wonderful, positive experiences. What I want to focus on is how this experience formed part of my teaching style and philosophy.
I am thankful to Mr. B. Of course, as a ten-year old I would have never seen this experience as a gift. I couldn't even say it was a gift during my teacher preparation courses nor in my first few years of teaching. Today, I see it as a gift and I am grateful. I am grateful for this experience because it showed me how natural consequences reign over punishment and how humiliation doesn't positively affect learning.
Today, in my classroom, I use natural consquences like when a student of mine began forging notes to get out of PE with the PE Coach. I could have reacted by condemning the girl, humiliating the girl, and giving her a punishment immediately. Instead, I state my disappointment, told her we would discuss it and most importantly, followed through and actually did meet with her the next day. Not always an easy thing to do. Prior to our meeting, I gave the situation a lot of thought noting that she doens't like PE, probably doesn't have success in PE, and was willing to do anything to get out of PE. I contacted the principal and asked about our after school enrichment program to empower girls through sports with caring coaches whose motivation is to inspire girls to enjoy an active lifestyle. Through a phone call with the principal and her parent we put her on the wait list for the program and I have noted to myself to regularly check on that wait list to see if space has opened up for her. Then I talked with the girl personally and privately, she has not brought a PE note since the incident which was over 30 days ago.
Yes this example isn't in an academic subject but rest assured that I use the same approach in all areas such as taking the time to watch a student write down their homework, pack their homework, and wish them a wonderful afternoon and evening encouraging them to feel good about their ability to complete and return an assignment. I could go on with more examples, but back to Mr B.
Because of Mr. B, I believe that the best way to improve student behavior is through encouragement and helping them feel good about themselves and their place in the world and once that is in place they will rise to the high expectations I have for them.
None of that would be possible without Mr. B. So, thank you, Mr. B for showing me how to focus on a child's precious self esteem and use that as catalyst to success in the classroom.
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